Augmentations Away!

I really couldn't care less whether anyone gets plastic surgery or not. If you want it, then by all means knock yourself out. Personally, I see no difference between plastic surgery and tattoos- they are both permanent changes to your body that no one will have to agree about, but will never tell you that they hate to your face. Therefore, if you are not comfortable in your own skin and know you would feel better about yourself if you got tweeked, pulled, or pushed up, then I think you should go for it. Just know that I don't want to hear anything about it. Ever.

I think my general apathy towards plastic surgery stems mostly from the fact that it is always the most annoying celebrities possible who feel the need to discuss it on the cover of magazines. If I have to check out at the grocery store while looking at one more picture of Heidi Montag's boobs exploding everywhere, or of headlines speculating as to the authenticity of Kim Kardashian's ass, I can't be held responsible for my actions. Real celebrities should be valued for their talent, not for how often they will blab to OK! regarding their new face.

Basically, I have no problem with plastic surgery itself, just with the way that it is used to sell countless magazines and has become the fallback subject for the tabs. It's kinda like the song My Humps. The first time you heard it you were like "yeah, this song's kinda entertaining." And then you heard it on every single radio station and in every single TV show and in every single bar and it just became unbearable. Only now the ubiquity is about Tori Spelling's new humps rather than Fergie's.

The constant coverage of plastic surgery is not only lazy journalism, it is also an invasion of privacy. Most of the articles don't even have complete facts- they are simply composed of speculation and opinions from doctors that don't even treat the celebrities in question. Most readers are not blind- anyone looking at JWOWW can tell that she has had breast implants. We don't need quotations from unrelated sources regarding the inauthentic puffiness of Lindsay Lohan's new pout. And everyone can tell that that is definitely not the nose that Ashlee Simpson was born with.

Plastic surgery can be used for a lot of good reasons- it can reverse cleft palates, save the lives of burn victims, and give people in accidents their lives back. But it can also be used very irresponsibly. Kanye West's mother died in 2007 during liposuction even though she knew that she had a heart condition that made her high risk; Heidi Montag had 10 cosmetic procedures performed in the SAME DAY. And these are not uncommon stories. But does the blame lie with the individuals getting the surgeries or with the trained medical professionals who perform non-essential operations that they know are unusually dangerous? I think it lies with both.

When it is done knowledgeably, plastic surgery can be a wonderful thing, but when patients or doctors are irresponsible or reckless, unnecessary terrible things can happen.

If you have the money and the desire to get plastic surgery done, then by all means go for it. But don't come running to me if you end up looking like Joan Rivers. When you're 55.